New Toys & Old Toys

I honestly don't think it mattered to Parker. The new toys were just as easy to destroy as the old ones. I need to make a note of this for Christmas next year.

Leaving Something to the Imagination

At the annual Christmas Party, Stacey and Parker demonstrated their common genes in unique ways. While I spent the evening trying to get a picture of my beautiful wife's face (she refuses to allow this saying that her immense beauty would cripple the camera and demoralize all of human kind if documented) Parker went around photographing people legs (he claims that photographing people's faces not only captures part of their soul, but that turns it over to the devil.)

The Growing Artist - Part Eight

The other night I was watching "My Name is Earl" and Parker stopped me to say, "Daddy, this movie is about Randy, and that one's name is called Earl." At first I thought is was impressive that he understood the character structure of the show, but then I realized that he was deep into character analysis. He understood that at the root of Earl's character was a desire for redemption and at the root of Randy's character was the need to be accepted. I was stunned, and then I looked and he was crying. I thought he was moved by the strong relationship of these brothers portrayed by these actors until he said, "I hear in Hollywood that the best actors can cry on demand."

This One isn't About You Either

When immersed in a good book, Parker becomes oblivious to the rest of reality. When that book happens to be about animals, he shuts himself off from humanity. (Unfortunately for you, that means you will have to settle for a picture of the animal book, it really was the best I could do.)

One More Just for You

(I'm not talking about another face revealing picture you self centered freak. I'm talking about donuts. Your so vain you probably think this post is about you.)

Parker's Face

(I hope that you are all happy now!)

Wall to Wall Fun

When no one is looking, Parker scales walls like his name sake. When others are watching however, he prefers to take advantage of their ignorance. With mom he either makes her climb or makes her climb while carrying him, while with papa ... (well, perhaps that explains itself.)

New or Old Missionaries

While Stacey and I were glad to have the Elders with us, Parker seemed more than a little bit indifferent. He explained to me afterwards, "Its not that I don't like them dad, it's that I can't tell one from the other, and quite honestly, that degree of homogeneity (he does like to make up words like his old man) creeps me out a little bit."

Big Shark in the Food Chain

If it weren't bad enough that he is already a better gamer than I, he does destroys me every time with one had stuck in his mouth.

The Modern Architect

So for Halloween, Parker told his mother that he wanted to go as Dad, which of course means he wanted to go as an overly vain, over rated, quasi architect who has a strange obsession with 2H pencils without erasers and faux hawks.

But then again, if every little boy had the choice between becoming a macho construction worker who gets to spend everyday out doors, a courageous cowboy who braves wild steeds and tames buffaloes, or an overworked design professional who spends his days debating over which shade of gray mortar best matches the gray shade of caulk, who wouldn't go with the architect? Really?

However, who better to teach a Jedi knight how to open a bag of fruits snacks by explaining the structural tendencies and most likely material failures of a plastic bag to the ninth degree. Seriously, what good would a contractor or a cowboy do for you in that situation?

Mindwashing in Mississippi

Papa is anxiously awaiting the day that Parker becomes a real Mississippi State Fan. In the mean time, he is employing a diverse curriculum of mind washing tactics to help make his vision a reality. You will see here in this photograph evidence of his efforts to brand both Parker and himself with Mississippi State paraphernalia. In this way Parker will come to associate all of his time with his Papa with Mississippi State Sports. He is also actively taking Parker to campus, showing him the sites and letting him watch all of the games (this may not sound like brain washing but if you saw how bad all of the teams are you would understand.) I am sure that these efforts will one day bear fruits, but in the meantime Parker just plays along and tries to not make a fuss (he wouldn't want to change Papa's life and outlook and attitudes after all.)

Escape From Fairgrounds

"OK, listen closely, I only have time to say this once. Mixed in with the feed is a key and a shiv. You can use them to get out. GET OUT!!!!!"

Adventures In Scale (reprise)

To the left you have one of my councilors, and he is every bit of 6 feet and 7 inches. He likes to tell people he is only 6'-6" because he has found in his life that people don't freak out when they meet 6'-6" individuals quite as much as when they meet individuals who are actually an inch taller than that. I (not pictured) stand a solid 5'-6", but I like to tell people that I am 5'-7". I do this because if i don't they ask me where i buy my "little man" clothing. (just in case you are keeping track of the math, that makes him a full 13 inches taller than me!) To the right you have my son (i don't think i have a tape measure long enough to do the math on that one.)

Taming the Wild Beast

Calmly, Parker stood behind that "wild croc" waiting for it to step out of line. The beast reared it's head and Parker pulled on it's tail so hard that crocodile tears came to the "croc's" eyes (really, they were huge like the croc). And just that quickly, the beast was tamed, and all of the little children hoped on their new deluxe transport and toured the zoo like royalty.

The Growing Artist - Part Seven

Parker further explores the world of paleontology, explaining, "that no one really understands what the dinosaurs looked like. How could they possibly determine skin/scale types, eating habits, hunting rituals, parenting methods, anatomy and physiology, age and cause of death from a small piece of a bone (that i personally think is part of a gizzard). Really, they are just making it up as they go along, at least for the most part. So I am getting a jump on my competition. This is the world's first glimpse of the terrible taco meat eating sososaurus."

The Growing Artist - Part Six

Parker is continuing to pursue artistic endeavors (much to the dismay of his mother, who watches in horror as he goes about tyring to destroy her third hammer). Anyone who knows his mother might think that he is starting to create his own jewelry, but one who knows my son would understand that he is honing his skills with a small hammer so that he can one day uncover dinosaur bones. "Daddy," he says, "when I uncover my first dinosaur, I am going to name him a sososaurus so momma will forgive me for ruining her hammers."

More Watery Delight

Later that day, after the fish and fruit snacks, Parker and Cooper headed over to Harland's house and partook of another on the most lovely inventions known to man, the water slide. (Truth be told, those three weren't the only ones who enjoyed the slide. But the kids couldn't figure out how to take photographs of us while we were partaking.)

Fruit Snacks and Fish

Two of the most exquisite pleasures know to man (that is, if the man is three.)

The Tale of Two Towers

The pile to the his left contains books that have not yet been read while the pile to his right contains the books that have been. (Of course, while I say the pile to the left contains books not read, I must clarify that I mean in the last 10 minutes. You see, Parker reads very fast, and likes to read and re-read to discover layer upon layer of meaning. Then again, maybe he just re-reads to see if the cat in the hat ever stops coming back.)

Obvious Instructions

"Now watch closely. The first thing you do is put your seat belt on, and then you adjust the mirrors. Don't even think about turning the radio on for at least six months, and no cell phones either. Those things will get you killed. Do you have your eagle scout yet? If you don't you can forget about this. Remember, keep your hands at ten & two, ten & two. Red means stop. If you didn't know that already you will never get behind this wheel again. Last of all, you must realize that you are just borrowing this car from me, so when you get out, move the seat back up so I don't have to. It's your fault anyway that my legs are so short."

Birthday Loners

There were only about 20 kids there, and enough food to feed 20 times that number of mouths, and yet, Parker and Cooper found about 20 different places to hide and eat alone. With two different personalities, and two different methods of communicating, and yet their friendship is truly one of great singularity.

Chasing the Bubbles

A wise man once said, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." The action that man was talking about was putting any object in motion for my son to chase.

Tasty Fishes

They were really in the mood for fish, and they had just finished reading the Lord of the Rings Trilogy together, so what do you expect? My only question is which one is goullum, and which one smeagol?

Big Building

Parker really felt like they would slow him down, but they wanted to help so bad he let them tote his tools around while he worked. He had about 15 or 20 of these things to build, so he figured that by the time he was done, Papa and Nathan would feel like they had contributed a at least a little bit.

The Smallest Children

As each child crawled in the chair, Parker warned them that even though the chair looked large, that their combined weight would eventually exceed the structural capacity of the design. The each in turn, looked at him with a silly look, and laughed their silly little heads off. Then the crawled up into the chair. Parker remained leery however, and about five minutes after this picture was taken the chair collapsed. None of the children were harmed, well they weren't physically harmed, but their pride was pretty bruised.

On the Way Home

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Affter our several days at Bear Lake, we were actually excited to get home and rest. As it turns out, our trip home was actually quite peaceful (only if you consider the first part of our flight -durring the second leg we became "that" family.)

The Fun We Missed - Part Two

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Yeah, we've been in this van before.

The Final Morning

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Parting was not an easy task, and even for Parker the goodbyes with each person lasted several moments. Uncle K.C. was one of the lucky ones, getting Parker to himself for over 30 minutes. The unlucky ones got me taking pictures of their faces to wake them up. I figured it was fair seeing as they weren't even waking up to say goodbye.

Nemo in the Dark

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On our final night there, the power went out for several hours. Luckily we held in our luggage, the ultimate hidden weapon; a portable DVD player and "Finding Nemo."

Happy Pirate Day

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In the weeks adjacent to our family reunion many of us turned a year older. So many of us, that we experienced a heightened sense of entitlement. So we made a pact that all that we wanted would be ours. We armed ourselves, got tattoos and started to dress in an intimidating manner. We ransacked our neighbors condo, stealing all of their treasure and cupcakes so that we might celebrate in a manner fitting to our highness.

Will it Float

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In the spirit of the great Letterman, one night we decided to play "Will it float". I think we all enjoyed this game, and the participation was extraordinary, but no one participated more than Parker. He even tested himself several times, and yes, He Floats!!!!!!

Sibling Warfare

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I really shouldn't even try to explain.

We Are All Crazy

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There isn't much to say about our attempts to photograph all or part of the family except to say that in the Hansen family, it is virtually impossible for every member of the family in a given photograph at a given time to stand still, or even look at the same camera.

The Sentinals

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They wouldn't even let us get close enough to see what they where guarding. It must have been something spectacular for them to brave the sun. Every time someone got within 50 yards Stacey would start to sing and Monte would take his shirt off. Those tactics would put fear in the heart of anyone. We thought that maybe they were just trying to preserve our beach side real estate at first, but when Monte scared off his own children while laughing devilishly, we all knew they weren't saving any space for us. Meredith suggested that we not worry about them, that they were probably just getting a little sun, and that's when Stacey tackled her, planted her face in the sand, and then she finished her off with a wedgie. After three hours of sun and four changes of underwear, we had had enough, and decided to give them a taste of their own medicine. So we went inside, turned on the A/C and locked them out.

My Brother, My Servant

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For many years it has been common knowledge that my brother Monte worshiped the ground that I walk on. Now, the whole world can see and know that in my brother's eyes, I am the best. (Like I said, everyone already knew this, but Monte was living in an extreme state of denial. But finally he decided he could no longer live that lie, and admitted to himself what he had long feared to admit.)