Flipper Bowl Part Two

Never mind the craziness of the Flipper Bowl, the real toast of the day was the parade. But lurking underneath the hysterical surface of fun, the train posed a real danger, and the fear that it caused was tangible. Parker, and his buddy Cooper, however, really liked the train, and after the parade they decided to investigate it more thoroughly. They began their approach with the confidence afforded only by the ignorance of youth, but once within about 15 feet of the train, Cooper stopped. Parker closed the gap and put his hands on the trains front. Cooper tried to get his attention, attempting to convince him to reconsider their foolish exploration before it went sour, but Parker disregarded the warning. Parker scaled the train and jumped into the driver's seat as Cooper ran for cover. He could not bear the stress of the situation any longer. Parker honked the horn, laughed out loud and then moved to the wagon. He began to dance, laughing and grinning, completely unaware of any and all danger that surrounded him. In the distance, Cooper looked on cautiously, anxiously awaiting his friend's good sense to return to him. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Parker saw Cooper looking on. He stopped and cast his gaze to Cooper. That was Coopers last chance, the final hope to save his friend from inevitable peril. Cooper wasted no time, as he fervently beckoned Parker to return with a waving gesture of his hands and a look of terror in his eyes. Parker just laughed, and began his dance again.

Flipper Bowl Part One

The Flipper Bowl is the most outrageous church activity ever conceived by man. On one Saturday in January over 160 people gather from across the state of Mississippi, to participate in a glorified paper football tournament. The games are surrounded by a sea of events. It starts with a 5K run, then comes the tailgating party, and the parade (see the soon to be posted Flipper Bowl Part Two). Then the festivities turn in door to the punt, pass, and kick competitions (and yes, these contest are all conducted with paper footballs). Then comes the light show (created by our Bishop), filled with lasers, disco balls, digital displays, fog and of course music. Finally the games begin. This year I competed well and made it into the sweet sixteen (remember there were 160 players) before losing to the person who eventually lost to the winner of the tournament (I know, not really that impressive). The final game is held at the center of a 30 person stadium, with an additional 100 plus people watching the game via television transmission. At half time the under 8 championship was played. Finally the tournament was over. But the night had just began, bring on the Flipper Ball. (The recalled events of this day are not the ranting and ravings of a delusion person, nor of a man bored with work to the point of daydreaming. They are real events that occur once a year at a real place, at a real time and have not be exaggerate for the purposes of story telling what so ever.)

The Growing Artist Part Three

My son always makes me laugh. The other night, he woke up thirsty and I went to check on him in his bed. He looked up at me and barely squeaked out the word "milk" before his head fell back to the mattress. Now I am no dummy, and had I left him there he would have woken up again in a matter of minutes. So, I lifted him up and carried him into the kitchen to retrieve his milk. He laid his head on my shoulder, put his thumb in his mouth and closed his eyes. As we neared the living room, where the TV is located, he looked up at me and with startling clarity and energy said, "Elmo" (his new personal hero). I told him that we weren't going to watch Elmo right now, and he promplty laid his head back down to go back to sleep. I have this theory that Parker is studing Elmo to develop a stand up act (yes, a comedian he is), thus adding one more tool to his repertoire as an artist. Right now he has two jokes. One, he sticks any object on his head (a book, truck, toy or a diaper) and calls it a hat. Two, he sticks a part of his body (usually his foot) in his mouth and goes, "yum, yum." Both jokes send the audience into fits of side splitting, bladder relieving laughter. After which he laughs at himself, points to his chest, and says, "Parker" (meaning of course, "thank you, and have a good night.")

Not the First Hair Cut

Parker has had many haircuts up to this point in his life. The first was the most traumatic (only for his mother, who felt like cutting his hair would mark the threshold between being a boy and becoming a man), but the process has evolved into a well oiled & efficient machine. Parker is stripped and buckled into his chair. In order to keep him from becoming upset with his restraints, he is given a sucker to keep him preoccupied. What follows is a chaotic mix of laughing, crying, cutting, sucking, getting sticky, and getting hairy that will inevitably end with Parker sucking on a hair covered sucker while looking like Sean Connery (covered in manly hair).

Taunting from the Tube

As do most fathers & sons, Parker & I enjoy doing a lot of things together. We read every night before bedtime. We play hide and go seek every morning before mom wakes up. We draw, swim, wrestle, watch Kermit the frog and the Swedish Chef, dislike most vegetables, prefer milk over water, put off going to bed as long as possible and heckle small children at the local park.

New Year's Resolutions

If you pay attention to the date and time stamp below, you will see that this photo was taken exactly 16 hours & 55 minutes into the new year. And this photo should really explain exactly where each of us stood on our new years resolutions. For starters, notice my absence. One of my many (999) resolutions was to get more sleep. I feel asleep the night before (new years eve for those of you are keeping track) at 9:30 pm (19 hours and 25 minutes later I am still asleep). Parker's only new years resolution was to live up to the expectations of any aspiring two year old and spend a considerable amount of time on the floor whining, kicking and screaming about the slavery that their parents oppress them under (he started this particular tirade about 5 minutes after I feel asleep - what can I say, he loves me). Stacey has about 10 spoken resolutions, and one unspoken (although I am sure that she will deny it) she makes every year; find new and inventive ways to disfigure her face for every photograph taken of her. She has more work to do but is really showing her commitment (remember I am asleep, so she even went to the trouble of setting the camera on the timer to practice).