Birthday Loners

There were only about 20 kids there, and enough food to feed 20 times that number of mouths, and yet, Parker and Cooper found about 20 different places to hide and eat alone. With two different personalities, and two different methods of communicating, and yet their friendship is truly one of great singularity.

Chasing the Bubbles

A wise man once said, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." The action that man was talking about was putting any object in motion for my son to chase.

Tasty Fishes

They were really in the mood for fish, and they had just finished reading the Lord of the Rings Trilogy together, so what do you expect? My only question is which one is goullum, and which one smeagol?

Big Building

Parker really felt like they would slow him down, but they wanted to help so bad he let them tote his tools around while he worked. He had about 15 or 20 of these things to build, so he figured that by the time he was done, Papa and Nathan would feel like they had contributed a at least a little bit.

The Smallest Children

As each child crawled in the chair, Parker warned them that even though the chair looked large, that their combined weight would eventually exceed the structural capacity of the design. The each in turn, looked at him with a silly look, and laughed their silly little heads off. Then the crawled up into the chair. Parker remained leery however, and about five minutes after this picture was taken the chair collapsed. None of the children were harmed, well they weren't physically harmed, but their pride was pretty bruised.

On the Way Home

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Affter our several days at Bear Lake, we were actually excited to get home and rest. As it turns out, our trip home was actually quite peaceful (only if you consider the first part of our flight -durring the second leg we became "that" family.)

The Fun We Missed - Part Two

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Yeah, we've been in this van before.

The Final Morning

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Parting was not an easy task, and even for Parker the goodbyes with each person lasted several moments. Uncle K.C. was one of the lucky ones, getting Parker to himself for over 30 minutes. The unlucky ones got me taking pictures of their faces to wake them up. I figured it was fair seeing as they weren't even waking up to say goodbye.

Nemo in the Dark

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On our final night there, the power went out for several hours. Luckily we held in our luggage, the ultimate hidden weapon; a portable DVD player and "Finding Nemo."

Happy Pirate Day

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In the weeks adjacent to our family reunion many of us turned a year older. So many of us, that we experienced a heightened sense of entitlement. So we made a pact that all that we wanted would be ours. We armed ourselves, got tattoos and started to dress in an intimidating manner. We ransacked our neighbors condo, stealing all of their treasure and cupcakes so that we might celebrate in a manner fitting to our highness.

Will it Float

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In the spirit of the great Letterman, one night we decided to play "Will it float". I think we all enjoyed this game, and the participation was extraordinary, but no one participated more than Parker. He even tested himself several times, and yes, He Floats!!!!!!

Sibling Warfare

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I really shouldn't even try to explain.

We Are All Crazy

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There isn't much to say about our attempts to photograph all or part of the family except to say that in the Hansen family, it is virtually impossible for every member of the family in a given photograph at a given time to stand still, or even look at the same camera.

The Sentinals

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They wouldn't even let us get close enough to see what they where guarding. It must have been something spectacular for them to brave the sun. Every time someone got within 50 yards Stacey would start to sing and Monte would take his shirt off. Those tactics would put fear in the heart of anyone. We thought that maybe they were just trying to preserve our beach side real estate at first, but when Monte scared off his own children while laughing devilishly, we all knew they weren't saving any space for us. Meredith suggested that we not worry about them, that they were probably just getting a little sun, and that's when Stacey tackled her, planted her face in the sand, and then she finished her off with a wedgie. After three hours of sun and four changes of underwear, we had had enough, and decided to give them a taste of their own medicine. So we went inside, turned on the A/C and locked them out.

My Brother, My Servant

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For many years it has been common knowledge that my brother Monte worshiped the ground that I walk on. Now, the whole world can see and know that in my brother's eyes, I am the best. (Like I said, everyone already knew this, but Monte was living in an extreme state of denial. But finally he decided he could no longer live that lie, and admitted to himself what he had long feared to admit.)

The Big Table

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Parker could just not take it any more. Finally he yelled, "Enough already, can't you tell that you are breaking my heart. Can't you all see that you are murdering the sport? You are butchering the art! You are making a mockery of all that is good and dear!" (This sort of out burst from my son is rare to say the least, and not because of the melodramatic over articulation, but instead because he waited so patiently for them to get it right before he interfered.) He put aside the toys he had been fishing out of the shallow end for the last hour, and strode quickly to the "big table" (or diving board). "Haldan and Taylor, watch closely, I don't want to have to show you both more than once!"

Only Children

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Taylor is to Parker, as dogs are to dinosaurs, pinewood derby are to hot wheels. And guns are to hats. And books are to books. (This makes almost no sense to a lot of you, but it makes a lot of sense to almost none of you.) So this evening they enjoyed their common interests in one of the rare quite moments of our trip.

Meanwhile

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While Parker was playing in the sand tormenting his father (me in case you forgot), his mother and uncle Monte were busy trying to make some waves. Graham was also busy, however he was playing with slightly more sophisticated toys.

Playing on the Beach

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(Warning: The information contained in following entry, is exaggerated in no way. The times and people listed are real. The activities and actions took place exactly as described. No artistic license was taken by the author (as he is prone to do from time to time)). After an early morning of throwing rocks, Parker decided to spend the next 6 hours on the beach playing in the sand.

Skipping Rocks for Dummies

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For the better part of an hour, Stacey & Uncle Kevin attempted to teach Parker how to skip rocks. They would show him how to grip it and how to throw it kind of side armed. They would even help him throw one every few tosses he made. Yet, over and over again, he grabbed the biggest, roundest rock he could find and plunked it into the water. They would try again, only to have him plunk some more (It was interesting really, to see the two parties pitted so stubbornly against one another. It wasn't surprising, but interesting to see which one would break first; student or master). Finally, Parker said, with a voice of desperate frustration, "you don't seem to understand. I am not an idiot. I already know how to skip a rock on the water. My record is 32 skips on a single throw (He might have been exaggerating on that one, but he obviously wanted them to understand his incredible skill level), but you two obviously don't know how to make a splash bigger than a raindrop with them. Now, i will show you one more time," said the master, "so pay attention!!"

Early Birds

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After our first night of sleep, Parker, undeterred by the change of time zones, awoke according to the dictates of his own biological clock. As sleepy and grumpy as I was to wake up with him, I quickly realized what a blessing it was to be awake this early in such a beautiful place. We saw the sun come up on the beach while the shadow of the mountains slowly receded. Then, the most beautiful woman I ever saw appeared out of the water, came up to me, and told me that she was in love with me. I thought, "I hope this vacation never ends!"

How Many Stairs?

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After a dizzying three hour drive up into the mountains, where our vacation location awaited us at the beautiful Bear Lake; we decided to go down into the mountains. Way down. These caves go up and down to the tune of 800 plus stairs. That's a lot of stairs for anyone or any group, but especially for the Parker Hansen led expedition seen above. It was an amazing and terrifying adventure, but our leader was resolute, allowing no one to harbor any fear and leaving no one behind. At one point, his mother broke down in tears, and climbed into a dark corner of a small cave. Parker told her to "wake up, momma, get up, climb stair with me." In the end, we all emerged from the cave, relieved but proud of our own effort, and of the courage of one very small man.

The Fun we Missed - Part One

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Due to circumstances outside of our control, we missed the first two days of the family reunion. Normally in the first few days of our time together we manage to hold relatively pointless contests, that bring a great deal of pride to the winner, and ultimate shame to the loser. The first contest set about to determine which family has the largest nose. The basis of measurement was calculated volume (yes, we did actually take precise measurements and made accurate calculations), and our Grandmother won. The rest of us were all ashamed that we had not lived up to her stature. The second contest I won. This time around we set out to calculate who was the smallest male in the family, based on a weight per inch of height calculation (Monte was the biggest loser so to speak). This year, I am not sure what the contest was, but by the looks of it, I am glad that I wasn't involved.

A Little Accident

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We spent our first night in Utah with some friends, and the evening quickly turned exciting. Parker's tooth had a little run in with a stair, and the tooth lost (more accurately put, parker lost the tooth.) He screamed and bled for about 5 minutes, while we held him and then asked to go outside. Once outside, he whimpered for another 5 minutes and then asked to be put down. He picked up a rock, threw it about ten feet and then laughed (I guess that the wounds of ward heal faster when you are only 2) and that was the last we heard of the pain. Now it is only a memory. When he falls and bumps his mouth I ask him if he is alright. He always says, "Lost tooth, in my mouth", to which of course I panic. Then he laughs and smiles (revealing a mouth with only one empty space), knowing that he has pulled this one over on me again.

First Class

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We began our trip to bear lake with a wonderful airline flight, the first flight with Parker when not in the womb. We all had coach tickets for the plane, but some of us got a luxury ride at the air port. Others of us, had to carry all of the luggage, and car seats, while still others played photographer (really, I'm not bitter.)

Where There is Smoke, There is .....

This year, Parker really started to like the fireworks of the Fourth of July. In years past, they just freaked him out altogether. Now, he lives in relative piece and harmony with all but the most horrible of the smoke and fire starters. However, we did have two exceptions to his newly developed disposition. We were out side when one of our neighbors set off one of those 56 explosions in 2 seconds firecrackers that just about wake the dead (really what is the point of making that much noise and smoke ever, I mean EVER). After seeing this, Parker didn't freak out. Instead he calmly walked to the door of the house and said, "Parker go inside now." Later that evening we were on the way to a fireworks show when he decided to projectile vomit over about 80% of the backseat. I don't know if he didn't want to go, or if he just didn't want to eat the cheese we were feeding him while we drove (Either way, it was really gross.)

The Worst Day of My Life

I know that in Heaven somewhere, I am going to be in trouble for calling this the worst day of my life. The truth is that is really isn't anywhere close. My brother's family and my wife's family came to rub it in however, and it is definitely the most intimidating day of my life. On this day, I was called to be the Bishop of my congregation, and my son just laughed and laughed at me. I thought that he would miss me a lot, as being the Bishop takes a good bit of time, but he doesn't. Now when he gets mad at me, and wants me to leave him alone, he just says, "Daddy, go to way, go to church!!!!"